That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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