Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
Randomize
