Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
