I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
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