if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
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