We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
