Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
Congratulations! We have a period
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
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