Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
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