I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
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