I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Randomize
