I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
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