You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
you have to choose: penises or morals?
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Randomize
