Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
Randomize
