I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
Randomize
