I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
Randomize
