I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Randomize