...so i touched it.
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
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