Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
