god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
The air taste purple.
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
Randomize
