you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
Randomize