did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
she pinky promised me she was 18
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
Randomize
