I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
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