she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
