If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Randomize
