Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
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