The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
I've got a whole match.com system. Triple book. First dates always get the 6pm happy hour drinks slot. 8pm dinner goes to a girl where I think I can close the deal. 10pm slot goes to the sure thing in case of emergency, but 6 can always trump 8 and 8 always trumps 10. Just blame it on a dead iPhone battery.
That, my friend, is how I bang 50 new girls a year. Not luck at all. It's science and statistics.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
Randomize