It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
