I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
i drank out of a bidet.
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
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