I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
Randomize
