honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Randomize
