people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
Life is so much better after having sex.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
Randomize
