After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Randomize
