im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
Randomize
