And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Randomize
