I want to stick my p in your. b.
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
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