i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
I wish my new phone didn't autocorrect so well. People will never experience the magic of my drunk texts because they think I'm making a coherent statement.
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
Randomize
