Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
