I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
