I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
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