exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Randomize
