You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
Randomize