I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
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