it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Randomize
