I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
Randomize
