like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
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