:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
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