I can't breathe out the right side of my face
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
Randomize
