Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
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