he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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