You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
Randomize
