I'm going to jail i love you
Need sex. Gaining weight.
3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
Randomize
