So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Randomize
