dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Randomize
