I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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