Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
we're making bets on your personal life
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
Randomize
