Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Randomize
