I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
