I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
Randomize
