I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
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