with your own penis?
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
I'm just crazy horny about you
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
Randomize
