5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
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