Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
Randomize
