if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
Randomize
