I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
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